Let's face it. I am not the best mom in the world. I haven't really suffered from true separation anxiety (mine lasted only a day), I felt total freedom when my son started going to school everyday for three hours, and I keep on planning playgroups and after-school activities for him because I feel I can't entertain him for longer than an hour. I want him to be with his peers. I love him, no doubt about that, but I also love my own time. Time to read, surf, chat, watch, walk, eat all by myself. Does this make me a lackluster mother? A selfish one? How will I be with the next one? And I do want another one, and soon. :) Hearing about my pregnant friends encourages the longing in me...
I wish I could plan arts and crafts, song and dance and other stimulating activities with my son. Right now we concentrate on "bookish" stuff like writing, math, mandarin and spelling/reading. I feel like a teacher. Does he have fun with me?
He says he loves me very much. I've got the most affectionate toddler in the universe. I am so lucky and blessed to have him. Does he feel as lucky with me? I see other moms who spend the whole day with their children, and they're truly happy doing that, so what's wrong with me?
I want to be a devoted mom, but I don't want to overdo it. I have to strike a balance somewhere. Excuse me while I hug my son and play with him...
this is the other Hong Kong, where the only skyscrapers are towering mountains and trees
