Friday, February 02, 2007

Am I a bad mom?

Let's face it. I am not the best mom in the world. I haven't really suffered from true separation anxiety (mine lasted only a day), I felt total freedom when my son started going to school everyday for three hours, and I keep on planning playgroups and after-school activities for him because I feel I can't entertain him for longer than an hour. I want him to be with his peers. I love him, no doubt about that, but I also love my own time. Time to read, surf, chat, watch, walk, eat all by myself. Does this make me a lackluster mother? A selfish one? How will I be with the next one? And I do want another one, and soon. :) Hearing about my pregnant friends encourages the longing in me...

I wish I could plan arts and crafts, song and dance and other stimulating activities with my son. Right now we concentrate on "bookish" stuff like writing, math, mandarin and spelling/reading. I feel like a teacher. Does he have fun with me?

He says he loves me very much. I've got the most affectionate toddler in the universe. I am so lucky and blessed to have him. Does he feel as lucky with me? I see other moms who spend the whole day with their children, and they're truly happy doing that, so what's wrong with me?

I want to be a devoted mom, but I don't want to overdo it. I have to strike a balance somewhere. Excuse me while I hug my son and play with him...

2 comments:

Pamela said...

RagamuffinGirl, you are definitely not a bad mom! Each parent has a different way of parenting. We always do what we can and at the end of the day, as long as your child grows up to be a well balanced person then you have succeeded. It is teaching them what is good and not academics that is our basic role. We send them to school so they can learn their numbers and letters. We teach our kids mostly by example and as long as they see us being loving and good people then they will hopefully become one as well.

As I told Bandit, HAPPY MOM = HAPPY CHILD. Do what you can to be happy so you can be the best mom to your son.

Bandit said...

And like what you told me before, you send your child off to school or activities to give yourself a break. This way, when he returns you're well rested and energized to be the best mom while you 2 are together.